Jul 06, Cormac Healy rated it did not like it I think I made it about 80 pages through this book, and I am pretty angry at myself for persevering that far, as I could tell within about 10 that I was going to hate this one. What a stinker of a book. Everything I dislike in literature crammed into one soppy, patronizing mess. There are few things I am certain about in life, but I can say with absolute certainty that I would not get on with Mr Alain de Botton.
Extract Ready for Marriage They have been married for thirteen years and yet only now, a little late, does Rabih feel ready for marriage. What has conveniently looked like a single relationship in fact sits across so many evolutions, disconnections, renegotiations, intervals of distance and emotional homecomings that he has in truth gone through at least a dozen divorces and remarriages — just to the same person.
He is on a long drive down to Manchester for a client meeting. This is where he can think best, very early in the morning, in the car with the roads almost entirely clear and no one to talk to but himself. Then, under the influence of Romantic ideology, such practicalities grew to seem altogether too mercenary and calculating, and the focus shifted to emotional qualities.
It came to be thought important to have the right feelings; among these, a sense of having hit upon a soulmate, a faith in being perfectly understood, a certainty of never wanting to sleep with anyone else again.
The Romantic ideas are, he knows now, a recipe for disaster. His readiness for marriage is based on a quite different set of criteria. He is ready for marriage because — to begin the list — he has given up on perfection. We can claim to have begun to know someone only when they have substantially disappointed us.
Whomever we could meet would be radically imperfect: The facts of life have deformed all of our natures. No one among us has come through unscathed. We were all necessarily less than ideally parented: The chances of a perfect human emerging from the perilous gauntlet are non-existent.
Choosing a person to marry is hence just a matter of deciding exactly what kind of suffering we want to endure, rather than of assuming we have found a way to skirt the rules of emotional existence.
We should look for ways to accommodate ourselves as gently and as kindly as we can to the awkward realities of living alongside another fallen creature. Rabih feels ready for marriage because he has despaired of being fully understood. Love begins with the experience of being understood in highly supportive and uncommon ways.
They were not tragically inept. No one properly gets, or can fully sympathise with, anyone else. Rabih feels ready for marriage because he realises he is crazy. We seem so normal and mostly so good — to ourselves.The Architecture of Happiness is Alain de Botton's exploration of the hidden links between buildings and our well being.
Bestselling author Alain de Botton has written about love, travel, status and how philosophy can console us.
Now he turns his attention to one of our most intense but often hidden love affairs: with our houses and their furnishings. Alain de Botton was born in and is the author of non-fiction essays on themes ranging from love and travel to architecture and philosophy.
His bestselling books include Essays in Love ; The Romantic Movement ; Kiss and Tell ; Status Anxiety ; How Proust Can Change Your Life; The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work ; The Art of Travel ; The Architecture of Happiness and Religion for Atheists.
Alain de Botton is the author of eight bestselling books including How Proust Can Change Your Life and The Art of ashio-midori.com Love was his first book. He was born in and lives in London.
'De Botton is a national treasure.' - Susan Hill, author of The Woman in Black. With an introduction by Sheila Heti.
A unique love story and a classic work of philosophy, rooted in the mysterious workings of the human heart and ashio-midori.coms: With the verve of a novelist and the insight of a philosopher, Alain de Botton uncovers the mysteries of the human heart.
Essays In Love is an iconic book - one that should be read by anyone who has ever fallen in love. The title of Alain de Botton’s ride through the clouds is taken from the Roman philosopher Boethius, whose Consolation of Philosophy – not mentioned by de Botton – was a best-seller throughout the Middle Ages, being translated into English by none less than Chaucer.